Sure it’s cheating. If you go outside, your relationship is searching for more..that’s cheating….searching outside life and reality and what’s opaque is cheating…but sometimes that’s the only answer…to avoid real death. It’s so hard to live nowadays. We’re lesbians…we know that. Some of us are weak and just in need of an escape.

No, I’m not a cynic. I’m not a pessimist. I’m not on drugs or out of my mind. I’m just tired. Sleep just isn’t enough of an escape anymore…bad dreams make you an insomniac. I have a fatigue that makes you just want to die so bad. You just never know how long you need to. Just ’til it’s all better…and all the negativity has gone away. Just ’til you can smile at your family again…and share in the fun and laugh at jokes with your friends. ‘Til gay marriage is completely legalized?…til stereotypes are gone?…til hate crimes are a thing of the past?..You’d never really know how long.

At the end of writing all this…I’ve realized my temporary internal suicide will never be enough. Sure, it makes you feel better to scream at the top of your lungs ’til you have no more CO2 left to exhale. But how long does that last? When your scream is over…the reason you wanted to scream in the first place is still there..isn’t it?..We’d just have to…scream for our lives…or face real death…the cold kind.

Novel Excerpt: The Otherverse series by Sergio Morales

First Excerpt (One and his mother)

“Why do you want to kill them anyway? What did they do to us? Besides, it’ll take them centuries untill they could get to us. We shouldnt worry.”

“Did the others do anything when they launched the full scale attack on us? We shouldnt waste any more casualites on us, let’s just take them out now.”

“What if we can persuade them to attack the others? Then we dont have to risk any casaulties of our own.”

“Gods, just shut up! Look at youself, Mr. Smart One. If you’re so smart then why did we lose that attack against them. We lost a whole galaxy because of you”

“Me? We lost because you were in my way. Your stupid forces fell into their ambush!”

“I hate you so much since the day of your birth!”

“Tsk…whatever. I still dont think it’s a good plan to destory them. Let’s give them time to flourish. It’ll be easier to destory them later.”

“Argghh! You talk too much! Act now so they won’t posed as a threat to us later!”

“You really just want to send yourself to your own grave, don’t you? Death always waits for those who are too overconfident.”

“You’re just like your father. There is no use for you! He was killed in battle because his captain took long to think of a strategy!”

“Dad wasn’t killed. He just never came back to visit you. From the way you treated him, he though that you didn’t deserve to become a legendary ruler.”

“I’ve had it with your arrogance! If you dont want to fight for me then fight for them, but choose wisely because one of those choices can cost you your life.”

“Fine then. I hope you live happily until your time. I’ll fight against you for a universe ruled by you isn’t worth it at all. Even if we don’t exist to them helping them wouldn’t be a poor choice.”

Frustrated she summoned up a portal and smited him with all her rage into the portal.

“I hope your death will be my vengence my arrogant One.”

Drifting into time paradoxs, One was eager to await what this new universe would await him.

“I hope the people from this universe would serve as a challenge against me,” he thought to himself.

Second Excerpt  (Eden and Ide)

“I don’t know Ide. The more I think about it, the more I forget.”

“Yeah, well let’s not forget about that struggle against Shiddo.”

“Oh, that? The one who started the war after after the nation waged it on Shiddo? Well, What other choice did Shiddo have? The Axio army came in vast numbers. The Shiddan army needed a plan to retaliate.”

“You really know your history. Say, why did we decided to fight this war?”

“Bujin is too close to Shiddo. Shiddo wanted to invad Bujin for refuge. Why did you think we’re traveling through the Bujin Wastelands? That’s where we’re going to, to Hydge. That’s where we sent mom and sis. But Shiddo…”

“Yeah, Shiddo took them from us.”

“Eden, why didn’t we just fight back?”

“We didnt want Bujin to suffer for our stupid actions. We could’ve took –”

“That’s not the reason Eden! Bujin could’ve suffered for our own mother! Why didn’t you fight with me?”

“I know mom was important to our people, but many other women would have been killed just for our action. Do we have the right to prove that our mother is more important than the protection of our own people?”

“Yes we do! Our mom was the most important person in all of Bujin! We can’t live without our mom!”

“Ide when are you going to learn? You would have let thousands of women to lost their lives just because her life is more valuable compared to theirs? I know I may sound horrible, but i was saving the world for other women and children in Bujin.”

“Damn it! Okay, you made a good point. Let’s just pray to God that she’s safe.”

” Yeah. let’s hope for the best.”

****

The moon above them shone as the wind blew and put out the flames of the fire that Eden and Ide had set up.

“Ah, not good. Well seeing that we’re nowhere near the Shiddan army why won’t we just take a quick rest brother? Hydge is still a long way ahead.”

“But Eden, there are still monsters that live in these Wastelands.”

“Well I rather be a relaxed corpse then a tired one. Besides we’ll only die fighting. We’ve been traveling for two days now.”

Silence then came between the two.

” Eden?”

“Yeah?”

“Who do you think will reach the end of the galaxy first? Scientists did say that there is an unknown ultimate power source out there that could be capable of ending the war.”

“I don’t know, but I hope Bujin wins evne though our technolgy is primitive compared to the technology of Axio, Evo, Numerix and Shiddo.”

“Shiddo’s nuclear quake has a devestating effect on everyone’s Aerospace Technology.”

“Dad..” Ide said as tears stream down his cheeks.

“Look, Dad’s gone ok? He’s dead, and he’ll always be a hero to us. Besides, we still have his lucky pistols.”

“But…”

“Let’ just get some rest big brother.”

“Okay…night.”